I never quite grasped the enormity of New York City until I left. The diversity of people and ridiculously tall buildings as the norm. Any cuisine you want at your fingertips. The abundance of it all.
A friend texted me months ago, before I moved, tired after a long rehearsal indoors all day. She lives in a different state, in a much more suburban environment.
“I really miss the sky.”
I sympathized with her, but on the inside I thought to myself,
“What the hell are you talking about?”
I think I get it now.
Here in San Diego, you can see a lot more of the sky.
The buildings in my little beachside neighborhood are much shorter. I’m living on the ground floor for the first time in my life. I finally understand just how high up I used to be, back when I lived in a high rise.
Some of the streets in my neighborhood even have stoplights here. And pedestrians definitely don’t have the right of way; I learned that the hard way, by being honked at quite a few times. I jaywalk far less than I used to.
When I visited New York just three weeks after moving, for my best friend’s wedding, I could barely sleep in my old apartment on the Upper West Side. I slept much, much better up in the Hudson Valley, where we went to college, and where the wedding took place. It’s like I was craving the newly familiar stillness of a quieter landscape. I’ve gotten used to the quiet shockingly easily. I hadn’t even heard a siren here in SD, until just a week ago.
I also didn’t take the subway a lot when I visited. It was strangely overwhelming. And disgustingly hot. I rode a few buses and was surprised by how crowded even the empty ones felt. Everyone felt so close to me.
Aside from attending the wedding, I subconsciously stayed very close to “home” during that trip. I focused on packing and visiting a few neighborhood favorites. On my one trip downtown to get coffee with a friend, I felt out of sorts and on edge during the walk from the train to the coffee shop, in an area that I know and love.
Almost overnight, the enormity of New York had gone from awe-inspiring to overwhelming.
I kind of missed the sky.
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